


A Crime Uncovered

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Nights [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Cake, F/M, Gratuitous Smut, Joker and Harley have a "healthy" relationship, Pillow Fights, Sauna, Silly, Smut, both still nuts, goofy fight, near naked fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 01:13:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8690764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: Harley is very upset when Joker forgets their anniversary but he does his best to make it up to her.





	

Harley sat on the floor of the hideout coloring in a coloring book she had stolen. The book was full of circus pictures, clowns, animals, and circus tents. She was coloring aggressively, digging the crayon hard into the paper so that the color was bright and waxy. It was her and puddin's two month and two week anniversary and he had forgotten!! She had stolen a bag of tiny rubies from the Gotham Diamonds and More store all by herself for his gift!!! She had then made them into a clown nose, meticulously gluing the tiny stones on a Styrofoam ball. She had gotten glue on her fingers, damn it!!! But he hadn't gotten her anything. She could tell by the surprised look on his face that he had no idea what she was talking about when she had exclaimed “Happy Anniversary!” and gave him the ruby nose. 

Harley snarled, scribbling hard enough that her crayon snapped. He had played dumb!!! Like he had no idea!! But she knew he knew...she knew it! Wait...what? She stopped coloring as she tried to sort out her thoughts. 

Bob came into the room carefully. He was wearing his new pink sparkle tutu and a t-shirt that Harley had gotten for him to celebrate his anniversary of being their main henchman. The shirt had a skull on it with a bright pink bow; it barely fit over his large frame, but Bob loved it. He was carrying an ice cream sundae loaded with rainbow sprinkles, just the way Harley liked it. The treat was an attempt to make her happy. Bob knew when she was upset—he always knew her moods. 

She looked up when he came in and sighed. “Thanks Bob, but I ain't hungry.” 

Bob stuck his lip out and nodded, shuffling away. 

Harley sighed. She felt like a heel when she upset Bob. With another angry sigh, she decided that her upsetting Bob was her puddin's fault too, the jerk. She had just bent back over her coloring book with a snarl, having snatched another crayon off the floor when she heard Joker call her. 

“Oh poooo.....sweetheart! Darling....” 

Harley narrowed her eyes as she looked up to see Joker standing in the doorway dressed in his new purple trench coat, matching slacks and vest, orange shirt and a green bow tie. “Ready?” 

Harley narrowed her eyes further. “Ready for what?” 

Joker grinned. “Date night!” 

Harley squealed and clapped her hands together, her anger draining away rapidly. “Really?” 

Joker grinned looking for all the world like a school boy with a surprise. “Yes, get dressed and let's go!” He motioned with his thumb over his shoulder. 

Harley, her earlier anger now forgotten, jumped to her feet. 

* 

A few minutes later Harley was dressed in a black and red corset with matching boots and leggings, her hair pulled up into ponytails. She ran out and threw herself into her puddin's waiting arms where he swung her around gleefully. He dipped her and gave her a deep kiss, breaking the kiss only to whisper. 

“Ready sweetie?” 

She nodded as he set her back on the heels of her boots with a giggle. He held her hand as they skipped out the door. 

* 

Joker drove the Porsche he had stolen a few days ago, speeding through streetlights and around curves, turning like he owned the road. He was headed toward Gotham's Diamond district where all the who's who of Gotham's wealthy lived, far above and away from the poor and struggling of the city. Harley had her face pressed to the passenger window as they entered the high end of Gotham. 

“Where are we going?” 

Joker gave her a grin. “Oh, you'll see pumpkin.” 

The streets were fairly quiet for an evening in Gotham. It was a little odd, but neither of them gave it much thought. Joker took a few side turns, a couple of back streets, alleys, finally pulling up in an alley behind one of the largest art deco-style apartment buildings in the area, the thirty-five floor Diamond Parks luxury apartment building. 

Harley gasped. “Puddin...what are we doing here?” 

Joker grinned as he jumped out of the car. He rolled over the hood in a smooth movement with a laugh to drop deftly to his feet and yank the door open for her. 

“We are going to have an evening of relaxation and indulgence for our anniversary.” 

He gave her his best grin and held his other arm out (in his best game show host imitation) presenting a door to her. 

Harley squealed and jumped into his arms as soon as she exited the vehicle. 

“REALLY??! Oh PUDDIN!!” 

Joker squeezed her tight, burying his face against her neck before putting her back on her feet. He placed a finger to her lips. 

“Now we must be quiet,” he explained. “Just follow me sweetie and no squealing.” 

Harley giggled, nodding her head. She was going to do exactly as Mistah J said. She followed him quietly with a huge grin on her face. 

When they stopped in front of the door that Joker had presented to her, Joker leaned over close peering at the rather old looking door. There was a keypad on the wall next to the door. Joker rubbed his chin as he glared at the keypad, then he grinned and with the flamboyance of any good magician, he pulled something out of his pocket! With a flourish, Joker showed Harley what he had in his hand, a crumpled up piece of paper with numbers written on it. 

He grinned at Harley. “Access code. One of their dishwashers won't be showing up in the kitchen for his shift tomorrow.” Joker gave her a completely faked sad face. 

Harley frowned. “Dishwasher?” 

Joker smiled “There's a kitchen down here...a restaurant has the whole of the lower floor.” 

Harley squealed. “Can you imagine living in a fancy place where you can get your dinner from a fancy restaurant?” 

Joker snorted. “Do they have twinkies? I think not! How good can they be then?” 

Harley started to say something else, but she was distracted when the door beeped. Joker grinned pushing it open and stepped aside to let her walk in ahead of him. 

* 

Harley had never seen such a big kitchen! It was gimungous! So many cooking utensils, sinks, ovens, and the refrigerator was HUGE. She skipped over to the fridge, grabbed the huge handles on the double doors and yanked it open to find desserts and other cold items on the shelves inside. 

“Puddin, look at this!” 

Joker turned toward her putting his gloved finger to his lips. “SHHHHH!!” 

Harley dropped her voice. “Sorry puddin, but come look!” 

Joker walked over and peered into the walk-in fridge. He let out a low whistle. 

Harley grinned and walked in to stare closer at the cake that seemed to be on display in the fridge. The cake had at least 4,000 diamonds, with a 5.2-carat pink diamond, a 6.4-carat yellow diamond and 15 five-carat white diamonds decorating its surface. Harley quickly made the estimates on the diamonds. She turned. “Puddin, you think we could carry this upstairs with us?” 

Joker grinned with a nod. “Let me get a cart.” 

* 

Soon the two of them were pushing the huge diamond encrusted cake to the service elevator, both of them giggling. 

They made it up to the thirty-fifth floor without being stopped or found out, both of them continuing to giggle as they wheeled their expensive cake out of the service elevator. Joker motioned for her to follow him as he hurried to another elevator. Harley noted that unlike the service elevator which was standard metal grey, this new one was white, but that really expensive white. 

They accessed the elevator and soon they were going up one floor, then the doors opened. 

As they shoved the cake into the room Harley squealed loudly. 

The apartment was enormous and the most classy thing she had EVER seen. The walls of the living room were tall with wall high windows that looked out over the top of 

Gotham city showing the skyline all the way to Robinson Park. 

Joker grinned. “To quote my favorite comedian “While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”” With that he bowed throwing his arm out toward the apartment. 

All the furniture was white (which was boring, Harley thought), but really expensive looking. As Harley walked around, her mouth opened periodically in surprise. There was a balcony that spanned the whole side of the building, a fountain between what looked to be two living rooms. Everything in this place was expensive and fancy. “Where are the people who live here?” 

She spun around in a circle before stopping to face Joker. 

He grinned. “Bruce Wayne has graciously allowed us the use of this place for the night...you know...since he has lots to spare.” 

“This is his? I thought he had that huge house?” Harley frowned. 

“Oh he does,” Joker explained. “But apparently he likes to keep a place in the city too. Go figure.” Joker shrugged. 

“We have the whole place to ourselves??” 

Joker laughed. “Yep!” 

“Puddin!!!” Harley threw herself into his arms again, covering his face in kisses. Joker laughed pressing her against the door frame and kissing her deeply. He gently pulled her bottom lip out with his teeth letting her lip go as he hissed. “Happy Anniversary pooh.” 

Harley giggled. “Happy Anniversary puddin...” 

They kissed again, Joker dragging his fingers up of her sides. Harley caressed his side as her leg drew up to hook around his waist, her voice a purr. “Show me the bedroom puddin?” 

Joker gave her a wicked grin stepping away to take her hand, lacing his fingers with hers before he skipped down the hall. 

Maintaining the theme, the bedroom was HUGE, another room so impossibly big that Harley thought they could probably park half a dozen cars in here! 

The bed was bigger than any other bed Harley had ever seen! It was twice the size of a king size bed. 

“Oh my god puddin!!” 

She let go of his hand, kicked off her shoes as quickly as she could and ran over to the bed throwing herself down so that she bounced up and down. 

Joker laughed as he slipped out of his coat, kicking off his shoes and leaping onto the bed to jump with her. They stood up grabbing each others hands and jumped around in a circle laughing. They let go of each others hands continuing to jump and laugh. Harley grabbed a pillow. She whacked Joker in the side with it nearly knocking him from the bed. 

Joker gave her a wicked grin, slowly wagging his finger at her in the no no gesture. Then before she had a moment to react he grabbed a pillow and swung it at her. He hit her hard, also nearly knocking her off the bed, but she bounced backwards and rolled in a somersault coming to her feet with a bounce and hit Joker on the his other side with the pillow. Joker laughed. 

“Oh is that how it's going to be sugar dumpling!” 

Joker lunged for her. Harley squealed happily as Joker wrestled her trying to get the pillow from her. Harley wrapped her legs around his waist so that he couldn't get her off. He sat up having gotten a hold of the pillow, but with her legs around him she simple came up with him. He giggled and lurched forward pressing down on her with the pillow trapped between their bodies. He was pressing a little too hard, but not so much that it was going to hurt her, just enough to make her think twice about defying him when he hissed. 

“Give me the pillow Harley and I promise to give you a treat.” 

Harley struggled to breathe a little, but she muttered. “Oh what kind of treat?” 

Joker grinned his wide grin. “Oh I promise it's one you will like.” 

She narrowed her eyes, then without a word she opened her hands allowing Joker to take and throw the pillow away. She loosened her legs from around his waist, holding her hands up in surrender when Joker lunged grabbing her hands around the wrists and yanked them over her head. 

“You are a very bad girl Harley-dear,” he hissed though his smile never faltered. 

“Oh are you going to punish me?” she whispered back. 

Joker laughed. “Oh yes, yes I am.” 

He leered at her just before he leaned in to bite her neck, just a nibble enough to tickle without hurting too much though he did grab her skin with his teeth and pull just enough to make her wince, but then the fingers of one hand started moving down her arms and back up along the edge of her corset where just a hint of her stomach was revealed. Harley started giggling and wiggling under him. 

“Puddin!!” 

Joker laughed. “Oh asking for mercy? I don't think so!” 

He kept her hands pinned over her head with one hand, while with the other he unlaced her corset. Harley laughed not really struggling all that much as Joker unlaced the corset and yanked it open. She wasn't sure what he was going to do until he leaned down, releasing her hands and started blowing raspberries on her stomach. Harley squealed and thrashed about, but Joker was strong and determined to make her pay. 

He kept her down and between his own laughing, he blew hard on her stomach until she was a laughing squealing mess. 

Breathing heavily, he sat back laughing in a low tone. “There—you have been properly punished!” 

Harley was trying to catch her breath between laughing. “You're horrid.” 

Joker grinned and winked at her. “Why, thank you cupcake!” 

He crawled off of her, but not before taking a nip at her breasts and stood up. 

“There is a hot tub in the next room. Race you, last one there smells like Batman's boots!” Joker pulled his tie loose and tossed it over his head as he took off. 

Harley jumped up, her corset falling away. “Hey! Not fair!!” 

She heard Joker yell back. “Who said life was fair?!” Then she heard his laugh. 

Giggling, she wiggled out of her leggings and panties before she took off after him. 

* 

She arrived at the hot tub—after taking a few wrong turns in the massive apartment—to arrive to find Joker standing in his boxers by the hot tub with his hands on his hips. 

Harley sighed happily stopping to admire the view. Joker seemed to be thinking. 

“You know what we need pumpkin? Some champagne!” 

He turned, dropped his boxers with a grin and walked naked into the other room. Harley followed him into the kitchen. 

“Are you sure they have any?” she asked though she was grinning. There was something exotic about walking around all this fanciness naked! She felt indulgent and extravagant. It was incredible and she was enjoying every moment of it. 

Joker had his head buried in the fridge as she sauntered about picking up things or stopping by one of the many mirrors that were in this place and admired herself doing a little spin and fluffing out her long white hair. 

“Eureka!” Joker stood up, holding a bottle of unopened champagne. 

Harley squeaked and clapped her hands in delight and anticipation. He quickly found some champagne glasses and the two of them walked back to the hot tub. 

* 

Surrounded by candles they had found in the apartment, Harley sighed happily finishing off her glass of champagne leaning back against her Mistah J. Joker, who grinned watching her. 

“Happy pumpkin pie?” 

“Oh puddin this was a really nice surprise! I love it!” Harley smiled brightly. Joker grinned wide taking her glass and setting it aside as he grasped her chin in his fingers and tilted her face up. He smiled. “You know I would do anything for you...” His voice was low, a hiss against her lips. His piercing eyes bored into hers for a moment...then her kissed her. 

It was a kiss that made her blood run like fire through her veins. She turned her body fully into his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. He shifted her, lifting her up with ease and positioned her to have her straddling his lap. Harley pressed her teeth into her bottom lip, grinning when she felt his erection against her stomach. She pressed forward moving her body in a wave against him. Joker growled as he gazed up at her, his hands sliding up the sides of her wet torso. Water ran down her neck and between her breasts making her skin shine like diamonds in the candlelight. 

“Mmmm...sugar...” he purred as his eyes wandered slowly down her body from her face then back again. Harley cradled his face, her hands stroking his throat, his cheeks. Oh, she loved her madman...she could say she loved him with all her heart, though it was more than that. It was her soul...her essence...everything....there were no words or descriptions to fully articulate how much she loved him. She could never make love to him enough to communicate her feelings either, but she would try. 

Harley brushed her nose against his, rubbing her body against his shaft as her breasts stroked along his chest; the slip and slide of her hard nipples was exquisite for them both. Her movements cause the water in the hot tub to splash adding to the sounds of the bubbling water. Joker grinned. He enjoyed the wet feel of her body against his. He ran the flat of his hands along the curve of her back, grasping her rear to pull her closer. Harley smiled, brushing his lips with hers, her tongue flicking out to tease his mouth, to caress his teeth. 

“Mmm...Harley if I wasn't already insane you would be driving me crazy...” He chuckled and squeezed her rear for emphasis. 

“Oh puddin, you say the sweetest things...” Harley giggled as she caught his bottom lip with her teeth. He growled again sliding a hand down her thigh and then up again. He kept one hand on her rear as the other plunged between her legs. 

Harley arched into his fingers with a gasp. Joker grinned as he watched her—he liked watching her. She groaned, her hips rolling against his touch. His other hand ran up her back. For a moment he let his thumb trail down her spine before he again tugged her closer while he gently stroked between her folds. Harley moaned, rolling against his touch, her eyes fluttering in response to his intimate caresses. Joker slowly inserted a finger into her, then another. Harley's fingers dug into his shoulders as her pleasure heightened at her Joker's attentions. She began rocking on his fingers groaning loudly. 

“Oh yes puddin!” 

Joker giggled. “Mm...yes, Harley.” 

She came with a jerk of her body. Her orgasm washed over her, sending shivers of delight up through her core. Joker laughed. He really enjoyed watching her as he continued to tease out her orgasm, the sweat and water from the hot tub rolled over her skin making Harley glisten in the apartment's flickering candlelight. She was gorgeous, he thought with a broad grin. The way her hair clung to her while she continued to thrust against his fingers and the complete surrender on her face...Joker growled. When Harley leaned against his hand that supported her back, he took that opportunity to attack her breasts with flicks of his tongue. She moaned as her hips thrust more vigorously against his fingers. 

Suddenly Joker stood up. Harley gasped and then pouted at the sudden extraction of his fingers which she had been enjoying, but when he lifted her up and started to get out of the hot tub she giggled wrapping herself around him. 

Joker headed straight to the ginormous bed. It didn't matter to him that they were both wet, he simply dropped her down on the edge of the bed, grabbed her ankles to pull her closer before he rotated her hips to the side. He lifted one of her legs holding himself ready. 

His green eyes blazed. He smiled at her and purred. “Ready?” 

Harley grinned back her smile sexy. “Oh yes puddin!” 

With a deep chuckle Joker thrust into her. He dropped her leg to grab her hip. Harley curled in on herself, digging her fingers into the sheets. This was always one of her favorite angles, feeling him deep inside her. He was thick, hard and rammed deeply, hitting places of pleasure she didn't even know she had. She loved the way his fingers dug into her hip and thigh while he arched his back pressing himself as deep inside her as he could. Harley glanced over her shoulder and up to see the surrender on his face. That was what sent her spiraling into her her second orgasm more than his thrusting inside her; it was his face, that look of complete ecstasy on his ghost white face, the loose curls of green hair, the bright red of his lips slightly open with pleasure. And it was all was because of her. 

Her orgasm felt as if he had burst upward to find a spot of pleasure deep within her which caused quivering ripples throughout her body. He thrust his hips hard and fast hitting her newly discovered locations over and over...Harley cried out again, sure she was going to tear the blankets on the bed with her nails. 

“Oh PUDDIN!!” She arched as her inner muscles held on tightly to him. Joker grinned thrusting even harder. 

“Yes, yes Harley!” 

His fingers dug into her flesh with only the slightest amount of pain, but that only added to her enjoyment of the moment with her Joker. He held her steady, thrusting and groaning when he came with a shuddering jerk and a growl. 

“HARLEY!!” He yelled out her name with complete abandon. 

Harley loved to hear him let loose. He sounded sexy when he growled on his orgasm, pressing his body into her, his hips thumping against her backside. He continued to spill into her, riding out his own orgasm until finally he lifted her leg and rolled her onto her back, careful not to pull out, and dropped down on her. 

Harley wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms coming up to embrace him. Joker cradled her head between his hands kissing her deeply before dropping his head to nestle against her neck. Harley grinned stroking her fingers along the back of his neck. They were both quiet, the only sound their heavy breathing and the soft whisper of Harley running her fingers through his wet hair. When Joker moved it was to nibble her ear and whisper. “Hungry?” 

Harley giggled. “I'm famished!” 

He stood up slowly, both of them groaning low when they separated. He grabbed the side of the comforter and cleaned himself off before searching for his boxers while Harley did the same, cleaning herself off before she went searching for her panties. She decided she didn't need the rest of her clothing at the moment—this was their date night in style! The room was comfortable and she felt that something erotic and indulgent about walking around in just her panties. 

She headed to the apartments' kitchen were she found Joker in his boxers, which were pink with red hearts (another pair that she had bought him) bent over in the fridge. He was pulling all sorts of food stuff and setting them on the counter behind him. He had rolled the cake in here, as well. As Harley walked by the cake she ran her finger around the edge of it sticking her frosting covered finger into her mouth with a grin. 

The kitchen had an island with some stools, perhaps a breakfast nook. Harley sat down on one of the stools and grabbed a tub of cool whip. She pulled off the top and started to spoon out cool whip with her fingers while she watched her puddin. 

He came back up grinning with a strawberry in his mouth when they both heard what sounded like a thump on glass. 

Joker bit off the end of his strawberry. Chewing, he started to slink toward the sound that hadn't stopped yet. It had simply changed into something even quieter, like a low scratch on glass this time. 

Harley followed behind Mistah J, her tub of cool whip under one arm as she continued to use her fingers to scoop up bits of fluffy white goodness and stick her white covered fingers in her mouth. Just as they walked back into the main part of the living room, they both saw Batman and Robin leap through a hole they had cut into the glass of one of the massive windows. 

Joker started to laugh, but Harley snarled. 

“HEY!! You're ruining my romantic evening with my puddin!!! This is our anniversary!!” Harley yelled indignantly. 

Robin landed in a crouch and stood up about to say something smarty when he saw that Harley Quinn was only wearing a pair of panties and nothing else. 

“WHOA!” He covered his eyes and turned around putting his back to her. 

Batman glanced at Harley then quickly averted his eyes and focused on Joker who at least had some boxers on. 

“We got a call about a break in to to one of Bruce Wayne's apartments...surprised to find you here.” Batman's voice was low, but there was clearly an edge of annoyance to the tone. 

Joker grinned. “Well Harley's right, it's our two month two weeks anniversary. You know how important that stuff is and now you just ruined it.” Joker shook his head. “She is not going to be happy with you.” 

Harley stomped her bare foot. “Yeah, I'm not!” 

Batman hissed. “Come quietly.” 

A furious Harley threw her tub of whipped cream at Batman hitting him in the face. Robin turned around with a shouted, “Hey!” 

Joker giggled, grabbed Harley's hand, and the two of them scrambled back the way they had come. They slid across the tile flooring in the kitchen. Joker moved like a snake twisting easily on his bare feet, yanking open several cabinet drawers. Harley just started grabbing food off the counter that Joker had gotten out earlier and started throwing anything and everything at Robin who was right behind them. Robin turned bright red again when Harley started throwing food at him as her bare breasts moved in ways that made the Boy Wonder found distracting. He kept trying not to look while at the same time avoiding getting hit by tomatoes and a triangle of Brie cheese. 

Joker, who had ducked down to pull out other items such as a cast iron skillet, popped up from behind the counter. 

“How about something a little sharper?” 

With a high-pitched laugh, Joker threw a butcher knife at Robin just as Batman came rushing into the room, the remains of whipped cream dripping off his suit. Batman moved with almost preternatural swiftness, grabbing the knife out of the air with one gloved hand. 

“Joker give up—you have no place to go!” 

Joker giggled. “Ah Batsy, really? You are such a party pooper!” Joker threw a few more knives. 

Harley laughed. “Hey Robin, like the view?” She jumped up and down which of course made her breasts jiggle. 

Robin turned when Harley yelled his name only to realize his mistake too late when she came running around the kitchen's island, his eyes immediately distracted by her toplessness only to have her backhand him with the side of the skillet. Robin went down in a heap. Harley started laughing. 

“She knocks it out of the park!!!” 

* 

Batman was busily avoiding the blades that Joker kept throwing and snarled. “Joker!” 

Joker laughed and actually ceased throwing knives, though he held a surprisingly large cleaver resting on his shoulder. 

“You really should talk to Mr. Wayne, Batsy. The man has far too many sharp knives in his drawers. Speaking of which, you get any closer I'm going to drop mine!” 

Batman was about to respond when he saw Harley knock his partner sideways with the skillet. In the next second, Batman threw out a batarang. The bat-shaped device (this one with a dull edge) flew from his fingers to strike Harley in the forehead, knocking her backward with a squeal. 

Batman was about to turn back to face Joker when suddenly Joker's weight hit him. Joker leapt onto his old opponent's back. Wrapping his arms around Batman's neck and his legs around Batman's waist, he held onto the caped man with a grappler's skill and strength. 

“Now that was not nice at all Batsy! That's my girl you just hit.” 

Joker, stronger than he looked as Batman knew well, leaned backwards, his arms cutting off Batman's oxygen. Batman twisted around trying to claw at Joker's arms, struggling to loosen his grip, but Joker held on tightly, like a constrictor. 

* 

Robin groaned in pain and rolled over. His head was killing him and everything seemed fuzzy. He struggled to his feet, tasting blood in his mouth. He saw Batman with the nearly naked Joker on his back and Harley lay nearby on her back unconscious. He quickly turned away not wanting to be distracted again. He started to move to help Batman when suddenly Harley stepped in front of him. There was a trail of blood running down her face from a cut on her forehead, the blood traveling down between her brow, along the side of her nose to her lips, which she licked. 

“Hey there, birdbrain.” She grinned. Robin immediately turned bright red, hesitating, giving Harley time to sucker punch him. Robin stumbled backwards right into the cake she and Joker had wheeled up here. She took off running, yelling as she did. “Come on puddin!!!” 

Joker laughed and released his hold on Batman's throat, leaping off backward and giving him a good swift kick in the small of his back that sent Batman stumbling forward and into the kitchen counter before he took off after Harley. They ran into the elevator with Harley stabbing the button hard. The doors had just started to close when they both saw Batman step into the hall with a cake covered Robin a step behind him. 

Joker had his arm around Harley's waist as both of them laughed. The doors closed, but not before Joker and Harley both gave the dynamic duo the middle finger. 

The elevator went down, but soon the door opened and the two of them rushed for the service elevator when they heard the sound of something heavy landing on the elevator they had just vacated. 

Joker giggled. “Impatient isn't he? Didn't realize he wanted me to drop my shorts that much!” 

Harley snarled. “You better not puddin, that's only for me.” 

“Awww....jealous pooh?” Joker hooked her arm through his as they stepped onto the service elevator. 

* 

Harley stabbed the button for the ground floor. The elevator descended fairly quickly, which Harley commented on happily when they both heard Batman land on top of it. 

Joker rolled his eyes in annoyance. 

“God, he never gives up does he?” 

Harley wrinkled her nose. “I hate him.” 

“Yes, well my dear, get ready.” Joker pressed himself into a corner looking up. They heard Batman's and Robin's footsteps above, but then Harley hit the emergency stop on the elevator, unbalancing the duo above for a moment. Joker and Harley heard the vigilantes above slam against the roof of the elevator, eliciting a laugh from Joker. Harley grabbed his hand while with her free hand she forced the slowly opening doors wider. They both took off out of the elevator running down the hall to the stairwell. An older woman, hearing the noises out in the hall, opened her apartment door to step out just as Harley and Joker ran by her. 

She let out a squeak of shock at seeing the two nearly naked white skinned people rush past her. Joker, being practically dragged by Harley, glanced over his shoulder at the older woman and with a laugh yanked the side of his boxers down to flash her a butt cheek. The woman gasped in shock slamming her door closed just as a laughing Joker was yanked by his girlfriend into the stairwell. 

* 

Joker and Harley were both giggling while they raced down the stairs. Joker jumped on the rail riding it down each curve. They ran down a handful of stairs then back into another hall to grab one of the regular elevators. They took this one down five floors before getting off and taking the stairs again. They did this erratically, stairs, elevator, stairs, until they hit the first floor. They dashed through the lobby where only a few people were milling about, a couple of guards, and a few residents, but the strange thing was, no one really reacted all that oddly to two nearly naked individuals running through the lobby of the apartment building. 

Now, if this had been in a more lower income area of Gotham, that might not have been quite so strange, but here in the Diamond District both Joker and Harley found it damn odd until they hit the doors and stepped out onto the street. 

Joker and Harley came to a dead stop when they saw what was in front of them. 

Tonight was the 12th annual Gotham Naked Night Bike Ride. A swarm of naked bicyclists, scooter riders and some people simply walking naked with the crowd, were making their way past the building and heading away into the night. Some of the people carried signs calling for the non-sexualization of naked bodies while others held signs with comments that read “down with big oil” and other signs that displayed a variety of other causes. Some of the participants were wearing body paint whereas others had other causes painted on their bodies. 

Joker started laughing uproariously. “This is perfect!! I love Gotham!!” With a snort, he yanked his boxers off swinging them over his head with a loud, “ WHOOPIE!!” Several people in the crowd cheered at him, clearly not recognizing the Clown Prince of Crime. Joker turned to Harley. “Coming?” 

She giggled, though she wrinkled her nose. “I hate it when naked people wear shoes. Looks stupid.” 

Joker laughed. “Oh Harley, such a puritan!” He watched with a happy smirk as she shimmied out of her panties. Joker took her panties and his boxers tossing them onto the steps leading up to the apartment building they had just vacated. Then, lacing his fingers through Harley's, they blended into the crowd of naked people parading through Gotham. 

* 

Batman and Robin burst out of the building and stopped short. 

Batman groaned. Before them where thousands of naked people. Robin yelped and turned his back on the people. “Whoa...that's a lot of...a lot of....” Batman sighed looking around for a clue as to where Joker and Harley went when he spied the pair of panties and boxers on the steps that he knew were Joker and Harley's. 

He stared at them for a long moment before he sighed. 

“I think we may just have to let them go this time.” 

Robin let out a sigh of relief. “Good...I really don't want to see a naked Joker.” 

Batman nodded in agreement. “Me either Robin, me either.”


End file.
